Kids doing chores: is it abuse or a duty?
I realized that moms are expected to do everything in the house assuming that it would help the kids to focus on their studies.
But there is so much good in having kids do the chores! And we’re actually doing our kids a disservice by not teaching them household responsibilities. Because how are they going to build and take care of their own homes when they grow up?
So it’s our job as parents to teach them how to manage and participate at home while reminding them that the family is a team. Besides, I know so many moms want their kids to help at maintaining the house too. But most of us only know nagging as a way of doing that (which often damage our relationships with our kids.) So how do we get them onboard without the fights? (See also: how to get your family on board with decluttering.)
Having the conversation
“To get the kids to help, give them the element of choice.”
JoAnn tells us about the self-motivation theory. It says that in order to be self-motivated to do something, one has to have the following:
- autonomy or sense of control over your own life
- confidence, like knowing how to do something or knowing that you could figure it out
- relatedness or having a great relationship with the person who’s teaching you
So for our kids to be motivated to do the chores, they have to have those three things. Make them have their say on what they do while also giving them instructions on how to do it.
Join me and JoAnn for more awesome tips on how we could get our children on board!
Other life-changing lessons in this episode…
- How to ‘negotiate’ chores with your family
- Factoring in age-appropriate chores
- Method for teaching kids how to do the task
- How to make it consistent
- Why focusing on one chore at a time is important
- Building your kid’s confidence
The teaching part is definitely extra work, but it’s so much worth it than the (easy) nagging. Because not only your kids would willingly help around the house, but you also build great relationship with them.
Parenting is already hard, so we have to have a little more compassion to ourselves as parents. Don’t feel guilty for asking help!
JoAnn Crohn, M. Ed is a parenting educator who helps moms feel confident in everything from raising empowered, self-sufficient kids to dropping the anxiety and guilt out of modern parenthood. She’s an accomplished writer, author, podcast host of the No Guilt Mom podcast, and speaker, appearing in national media and founder of the parenting site, NoGuiltMom.com. Her specialty is talking to both parents and kids – with her self-paced digital courses for kids and parents in handling big emotions, creating a morning routine and conquering the homework drama. JoAnn is a former elementary school teacher with a Master’s degree in Curriculum and Instruction as well as a National Board Certified Teacher in Middle Childhood Education.
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