I used to wake up exhausted.  I cried while on vacation because I was just so DONE! I was tired of the constant ON. While I love my kids, motherhood was hard…and exhausting.  Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed my kids. But I felt like I could just never get a break.  I literally showered, slept, and went to the bathroom with someone at my feet.

I was in desperate need of self care but didn’t feel like I had the time, money, or energy to invest in myself.

There was always something that needed to be done, or someone that needed me.  It felt like I was asking for a lot and was nearly impossible. If you had asked me what I did for self care, I couldn’t give you an answer…and I’d probably have denied that I actually was in need of it.  And spend money doing it??…forget about it!

inside I was drowning but I didn’t want to admit it.

I felt overwhelmed and frustrated.  At times I thought I might have had postpartum depression but when I reached out to other moms, I found that I was just like the rest of them.  We were all struggling…frustrated, overwhelmed, exhausted, and feeling like we just “had to get through this season.” But why should we be okay with just getting through it? Just getting by? Life passes so freaking fast, why would I want to miss any of it? Why would I be okay with “getting through” the season of life when my kids are learning about the world for the first time?

then it happened…

Let’s be real…my motivation was the 25lbs of postpartum baby weight, but I decided to start a workout routine.  It was only 30 minutes.  It was something I could do from my living room during a nap.  I could pause if I needed when life called (and I often did!).  I had a plan for my nutrition. And above all that, I had a group of other women all doing it with me. Those first few weeks weren’t glamorous AT ALL.  Trust me….I look back and wonder why I kept going…and I probably wouldn’t have had it not been for my community. But that first 3 weeks, sparked something in me that I didn’t know I was missing.  I realized that it wasn’t selfish for me to take only a small fraction of my day to invest in myself.  In fact, it was THE absolute thing my family needed me to do so that I could go through the day with a little more patience and a little more love (for them and me!).

but I can’t lie to you…

I’d love to tell you that my fitness journey has done the trick. It’s solved all my self-care needs.  But it’d be a lie. Because while fitness was the catalyst and still something that I so need as a part of my day….the true self-care came when I started to love on my soul.  Fitness taught me that I could push past my limits. It encouraged me to grow.  I had to expose the areas of my life I was most weak so that I could refine them.  It gave me an opportunity to believe that I could do something impossible… to be the best person I could be.  I had to love myself first so that I could in turn love those around me.  And taking action to achieve my goals was no longer a wishful thought….dreaming is beautiful and amazing BUT it’s in the action where we see our results.  I can wish to lose the weight all I want but if I don’t make the choice to work out and eat well, nothing will change.  I can dream of a different life…more calm and patience, more freedom….but without the action nothing will change.

I invested $160 and 30 minutes a day for 3 weeks….and it literally changed the direction of my life. I would pay $5000 for the gains I’ve received since I started. It’s no longer about what I weigh, or how big around my belly is…but about the strength and endurance I’ve gained for this one and only life! It’s that first step…that first investment into yourself and taking action that matters.

Take a step.  DO something that pushes you outside of your comfort zone.  Love yourself a little more. And if you need support in the process, #Nourished is where you need to be.

Keep loving yourself!

xoxo