Today, you and I got into a heated yelling fight. It wasn’t the prettiest moment for either of us. Both of us were frustrated and in tears.
Because you wouldn’t clean up your stuff.
I sat and complained to your dad about how it’s always you that I’m nagging at to pick up your stuff. It’s always you that I’m struggling to get to help around the house. You’re the most creative of my kids and thus with creativity comes creation and creation isn’t always “clean.” It’s always you and me butting heads.
And then I realized that I’m focusing on those areas of frustration and difficulty.
I failed to recognize the fact that you let me sleep in because I was feeling sick. You, at only 7 years old, got up, fed your sister, and even made her hot chocolate all on your own.
You drew with her and played legos and dolls all day so that I could lay on the couch and rest.
I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry that I failed to notice the ways in which you were freaking awesome and living well beyond your years. The ways in which you were showing kindness to me.
Instead I was focusing on the areas in which I thought you were failing.
Instead of recognizing your kindness and generosity for helping, I was focusing on why I thought you were being selfish for refusing to help.
I promise from here on, to try. I may not always get it right every time. But I promise to try to recognize your strengths. I promise to try to look for the good.
I promise to try to give you grace over judgment.
And I promise to apologize for those times when I too fall short.
We’re in this together. It’s a beautiful mess, my daughter. But I’d choose you today, over and over again.