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How to Build Connection with Your Kids

Today wasn’t one of my finer moments in motherhood.

Hats off to all of you homeschooling moms who have all your kids home all year long. I was super excited about summer and most days I enjoy it.

But then there are days like today.

Days when I feel like overall, I’m running maxed out. Every little thing drives me bonkers. And I’m tired of saying the same things over and over again. Seriously, how many times do I have to say “please hang up your wet swimsuit” instead of leaving it on the hardwood floor by the door.

I love being a mom. I really do. But sometimes I’m tired of being the broken record.

I want to be able to enjoy time with my kids. Playing, laughing, enjoying myself. Isn’t that what we all want? No one wants to be the nagging mom, who feels frustrated for cleaning smeared toothpaste off the bathroom sink for the 100th time.

Here’s the thing I’ve figure out. Most of the time if the kids feel loved, and I feel connected, our days go 100% better.

So fostering this connection has got to be key!

This last month, the kids and I did a Kids Night In Box day. It was amazing! It took up nearly most our morning and TOTALLY filled our cups. The kids felt loved, I felt connected, we laughed, we enjoyed ourselves. It is mornings like this that I want more of.  These are the mornings I want my kids to remember.

We spent time reading a book about camping.

Made some binoculars to go on a scavenger hunt.

And even made a solar oven to roast some s’mores.

It was kind of like a science experiment, quality time, and craft activity all in one.

Different Personalities

Have you ever read about different personality types or love styles? The 5 Love language books are a great starting point for learning how to love your spouse and your kids. Because we’re all different people. What will make one child feel loved isn’t going to be what makes another one feel loved.

For example….my oldest daughter loves words of affirmation.  When I can give her words of encouragement about how amazing she is….it LIGHTS her up. She transforms into a whole new person.  On the flip side, her biggest stings are when I show my disappointment in something she’s done. She’s quick to say “I’m terrible” when I point out a flaw (like, yesterday when I caught her trying to use the garbage disposal on her own! EEK!).

My son on the other hand is a cuddle bug. He loves to be touched.  He can often times be too rough with people because he uses his body to communicate.  He wants to be held, he wants to snuggle, he wants to hold my hand.

Young kids definitely need love in all different ways….quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gifts. But as they grow, you can start to pick out the ways you can maximize how you fill their cups.  Make it an intentional effort to tap into loving on them in their own unique ways each day.  I knew someone who used a checklist each day and it was her way of making sure she was intentional with showing each child love specific to their love language each day.

What are your favorite ways to connect with your kids?  What ways do you notice your kids feeling the most loved?


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