7 Signs that You Need Self-Care

How you know you need self care? When do you know you’ve been pushed too far? And what do you do about it when it happens?

Moms are known for being the worst at indulging in some self-care.  As soon as we’re given that tiny bundle of joy, we immediately begin to sacrifice…time, sleep, focus, going out, clean laundry, a decent meal. The problem is that over time….that much selfless giving turns into MonsterMom. Trust me, I’ve been there, and she ain’t pretty. You truly aren’t doing the best for your kids if you don’t take care of yourself first.

So here are 8 signs that you might be in need of a little time for yourself.

You’re reaching for the coffee 5 times a day.

When you’re just completely drained and relying on other means to keep you going, you need not only some more sleep, but a good dose of good nutrition and exercise to boost your natural energy boosters.

You’re thinking of the 1 million things you have to do.

We’re always going to have a list.  But if you can’t turn it off and relax, that’s when you’re going to get yourself into trouble.

It’s been 3 days since your last shower.

Now it’s one thing if you just naturally smell of roses, but for me…if I haven’t showered in 3 days, it’s more likely mama neglect.  And trust me, the people around you will be thankful you’ve practiced a little self-care too.

Exercise consists of pacing back and forth to get the baby to sleep.

Where can we squeeze in 30 minutes of exercise, right? I get it. I remember asking if walking at work would suffice as working out (the consensus was “no” btw). Boosting your activity just a little bit can do wonders for your energy, confidence, sleep, and strength.

You’re bouncing between #allthethings and not getting anything accomplished.

Call it “chasing shiny objects” or “SQUIRREL!” or just simply “juggling it all,” it’s all the same.  It’s called multi-tasking.  And man on man does research show that it just doesn’t work.  Focus, mama! You need to take a few breaks and focus on just one task so that you can actually get something done.

You’re easily snappy at the hubs and the kids.

Well, hello, monster mom. And not just the time of the month monster mom. But the monster mom all-the-time-mom.  When those little things, like the finger prints on the windows really irk you….When you start to get on your kids for their mistakes instead of giving them a little bit of grace.

Each day feels like another day on the hamster wheel.

I whole heartedly believe that you and I were both made to live and love to our utmost potential.  I don’t believe life is meant to be “just lived.”  I believed we’re made to live in abundance and excitement.  When you start to dread waking the next morning…you need to take a little reset.

 

If you said “yes” to any of these, you need to go read my post a few weeks ago….9 Tips to Avoid #mamaOverwhelmed.

And share this post with someone who needs a little TLC.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo by Natalie Collins on Unsplash

How to Divorce Proof Your Marriage When You Have Kids

Did you know that the divorce rate in the United States is nearly 40-50% of marriages? While I think that’s a crazy high number….I totally get it! Prior to having kids, every activity Joe and I did was pretty much he and I.  We had ample amounts of time to sit and talk.  We got to go walk together, we got to watch TV together, we vacationed together.  Life was pretty much work/school and then us being together.

Then rolls in parenthood….

It’s no longer just Joe and I. And while I have nothing against my dear children, their added dynamic completely shifted Joe and my relationship. Our conversations shifted from what we were feeling and how we were doing, to who needed to pick up what kid where and who was doing laundry. At the end of the day, we’re both mentally taxed and our conversations than revolve over the details of the next day.

But I don’t know if you’re like me, but I’m already looking forward to the future….

Some day my dear sweet children will no longer be living here.  I won’t be responsible for where to pick them up.  I won’t be juggling their soccer practice, homework, and daycare drop offs.  And it will be Joe and I once again.  Now tell me, if we spent 20ish years ONLY talking about the details of life, where do you think we’ll be when we no longer need to talk about those details?

But how do we connect right now?

Statistics show that time spent together substantially increases marriage satisfaction (click here for some deets on that). But I’m an introvert….and a night out isn’t always the most appealing to me.  I certainly crave the connection but the hassle of finding a sitter, going out, figuring out what to do….it’s not something I want to do on a consistent basis. BUT I certainly want the consistent connection.

In walks date night in box

For the last few months, we’ve been getting a #datenightinbox delivered to our door.  There’s no planning needed cause everything’s all in the box. (See pictures below to see the box we got this month).

We’ve been able to get silly together, talk, show each other gratitude, and make time to be intentional towards each other.  And you know me, I’m all about intentionality. Last year we set a goal to have a date night once a month, and being totally honest, we weren’t very good about it. Life happens. But going forward, 2018 is going to be the year we are intentional about connecting and spending more time together. Cause I want to divorce proof our marriage the best I can. I don’t want to leave our relationship to chance.

and the final key step

Whatever you do this year, be sure to show more gratefulness and intentional investment into your relationship.  Think positively about your spouse EVEN when he does something that drives you bonkers.  Your energy will shift when you become grateful for him….your conversations will shift.  Your actions will shift. And then…..you will seal your relationship for the long haul.

 

PS- If you’d like a discount code on Date Night in Box, click here and use code: ONEFREE to get a free box on 3, 6, or 9 month subscriptions.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash